The Book of Self Loathing
The Book of Self Loathing proclaims the universality of our inner turmoil. A calligraphic and illustrated list of our worst thoughts about ourselves, it says failure is normal. You might think everyone around you is having a wonderful time but the evidence written here before you is that we are all consumed with self recrimination, perceived shortcomings and self hatred. If we know this and can give up our ideas about perfection we will all feel less unhappy.
Now more than ever we are surrounded by images of success, but these moments are not an everyday reality for anyone. We do not see the failures, struggles, divorces, humiliations, hopelessness, mediocrity and disasters that have been edited out. If we can picture the difficulties behind what we see, and remember that these are isolated moments, we can be more accepting of being imperfect.
The cure for self-hatred does not lie in increasing self-love, but in observing that we are all ridiculous, flawed and foolish and that to be human is to err. Rather than masochistically giving in to self hatred and focusing excessively on our shortcomings we should let go of our ideas of what constitutes a perfect life. Model relationships, moral purity, physical beauty, infallibility and worldly success are not a reality for anyone. Trying to be useful (not infallible) is more likely to make us feel better. And in the meantime, the more we can share our stories of failure, the happier we will all be.